chasing pavements

a new blog, a new beginning.

i'm here at yet another crossroad, this time it is the biggest one i have ever come across. previously, i tend to already know what i want before i reached the crossroad, but this time, i don't. i need a job soon. but the ones i really want are beyond my grasp. please tell me what i want. i don't want to be ordinary. but i probably don't have much of a choice.

and it's been two and a half years since pris,
two years since fairy,
one and a half years since amy.
how much longer
before the next one comes along?
or is the next one already here?
i don't know.
i need my dose of l.o.v.e.

yet, at the same time,
i am afraid to give.
and i am afraid to receive.
i want to step into the future,
yet i am trapping myself in the past.
the sights, the sounds, the smells
they trigger my memories.
i just hope the right one will hop along soon,
and drown out the past to start anew.

m.