chasing the coveted illusion

it's funny how sometimes we kind of expect a certain outcome, yet when the outcome turns out as expected, we still feel the same heavy sense of disappointment.

you've felt that before, no?

well, i felt that today. i've been waiting for more than a month since my second round of assessment at MFA. called twice and they said will get back to me, and they finally got back to me today.

-extracted conversation over the phone-

"i've spoken to my colleague and we'll get back to you by this week."

"ok, thanks."

"but anyway, just to let you know, you're not selected after the AC (assessment centre)." --> ouch!

"ok, can. thank you."

"sorry we missed out your application and forgot to inform you about it." --> ouch! x 2

"no problem."

"but we'll still send you a formal reply via email by this week." --> ouch! x 3

-truncated-

but at least i can stop waiting endlessly for it. anyway, it's been such a long wait that i've sort of expected not to get into the 3rd round, because usually they're supposed to get back to you within 2 weeks. but, the disappointment is still there all the same. especially if it's a position that i really want and had hoped to nail. i guess this really cements my belief, which is "what's the point of getting second upper if i cannot land myself a job?"

moving on, i really hope the other ministries are calling me up soon. it's really the waiting part that's depressing.

MND, MFA, MCYS, MEWR... where art thou?

m.